


The Day After Forever

by bexacaust



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:14:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23725903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bexacaust/pseuds/bexacaust
Summary: You promised me you’d never grow upBut you fucking grew upGod, I miss you so much=============================================================I still order your drinks, Ambi. Even though I… You… Even though I don’t really need to. It’s just. Habit.
Relationships: Ambulon/First Aid (Transformers)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	The Day After Forever

First Aid’s hand tightens on the glass in front of him, and the silence in the bar is just too loud to take, somehow. Like television static, like radio buzzing, like the hum before a hurricane that rattles your frame and makes your mind white out like too much snowfall.

His visor shuts off.

He’s back at Delphi, and the snow is too heavy to handle without joints locking. The doors are barricaded, there’s no threats and no harvests or fudged paperwork. 

Ambulon is grinning and tired and he accepts his ration from First Aid’s shivering hands with touches too light to be real. He frowns, and sighs, and sets it aside as steam roils in the air like dragons and drifting winds and takes First Aid’s hands in his own.

_‘You’re frozen, Aid. C’mon, under the cover with me.’  
_

_‘Ambi, we’re on DUTY.’  
_

_‘Yeah? It’s nothing frisky, you’re cold and I’m too warm. It’s just surviving.’_

Surviving. A word that blurs out in First Aid’s memory, a word that reminds him of just desserts and unfair tactics. Of the sound of a revving chainsaw and a final scream and-

No, he refuses to dwell on that. Not tonight.

He burrows into his memories as his face burrows against the crook of his elbow and remembers the first time he saw Ambulon’s spark. How the chamber seemed crooked; malleable in the worst way. How Ambulon gasped when First Aid’s servos traced over old scars.

_‘What happened, Ambi?’  
_

_‘It’s… How we showed our loyalty. How we made our Deceptibrand.’  
_

_‘Ambi… Ambi that’s…. that’s AWFUL.’  
_

_‘Loyalty has a price, always. It’s just a matter of how much you’re willing to pay.’_

He remembers the way Ambulon’s eyes glittered when he murmured those words- the way Ambulon’s hand brushed over Aid’s cheekplates before tapping a chipped finger against the mask.

Warmth seeps from under First Aid’s visor onto his arm.

_‘Can I… Can I see?’  
_

_‘Hm?’  
_

_‘I just… I heard that Cons have, erm- well…’  
_

_‘Ah, the sharp bits. Sure, come here; the caps can be hard to take off.’_

How grandiose Ambulon seemed in that moment- a weary lion, a worn warrior wearing a medic’s sigil. The way his claws, old and well-used, sparkled in the dim lights that the generators barely powered. The way his fangs sat in his smile. The way he took First Aid’s hand and brought it to his liplates to kiss work-battered knuckles.

_‘Aid.’  
_

_‘PRIMUS!’  
_

_‘Sorry, sorry- I had to run a perimeter check, and my vocmod froze out. Can you help me unclip it and warm it back up? I can’t sound like this around patients.’_

First Aid remembered the way Ambulon’s natural voice rolled over his sensornet- the way it warmed him better than the mini-heater unit in their little offshoot hab. The way it felt when Ambulon growled words too soft and gentle to be spoken where others could hear them-

A voice people would have called monstrous became so close to something like home that First Aid ached with the desire to hear it just one more time.

_‘Make me a promise, Aid.’  
_

_‘Anything, Ambi; you name it.’  
_

_‘When I’m gone, don’t lose yourself in mourning okay?’  
_

_‘Wh… What?’_

‘I was going through old files and stuff and just… felt like it was something I wanted you to promise. So promise me, okay? If you love me, REALLY love me…. Don’t make yourself suffer alone.’

First Aid hiccuped softly, visor onlining just enough to look at the untouched drink next to him as he whispered the words Ambulon said to him so long ago.

_‘I don’t wanna be why you cry, Aid; you don’t deserve to drown in your tears._ ’

Another hiccup, and a sniffle.

_‘You have too much **light** in you to be **dimmed** for any reason.’_

First Aid rose from his seat, wrapping his arms around his waist and fleeing the bar with a welcome cover of crowded revelry-

His steps carried him to the observatory deck, and he welcomed the tomb-thick silence as he stared up at the stars; at the emptiness between them that looked as cold as he felt.


End file.
